Let's Talk About DJs

I can't express enough just how important the DJ is. Your DJ is so much more than just the guy switching the songs on the ipod- he (or she) is the Master of Ceremonies. They will guide you and your guests through the reception from the dinner, the speeches, the dances, cake cutting and bouquet toss to your send off. And when you select the right one, they will make your reception seamless- free of awkward pauses and breaks in the night or uncomfortable fumblings of words when Uncle Joe tries to MC for you but doesn't actually know what's coming next and has to put his hand over the mic while he leans over to ask you what he's supposed to say- thus effectively making your night that much more stressful.

No. 

You need a professional- who you've met with a few times before the wedding that knows exactly what the schedule for the night is so you don't have to worry about a thing. I don't care how funny your brother is or how good at public speaking your friend is... hire a professional.

I've been to many a wedding where they did not have a DJ (or just had a crappy one) and the whole night was a mess... no one knows what's going on or where to go... it's always an absolute train wreck.

Having a real DJ- a good DJ- will save you from a stressful day of, and your guests from awkwardness, frustration, and having their ears blown out by the sound system that the person you have handling it didn't check and get ready before everyone got in there (this just happened last weekend)- I might still be a little sore about it.

You want your reception to flow like a river... and you don't want to have any doubts about how things are going to run. You need to feel confident that your DJ will provide you with a carefree night- so that you can truly enjoy your reception.

Now, when shopping for your DJ absolutely check references and online reviews, see if they have videos of their work and meet with final candidates to see who you best mesh with. Once you've selected your DJ, you need to meet with them at least twice. Believe me- this will put you much at ease. They've been doing weddings (hopefully) for years and know all the different ways you can schedule the events, what works, what doesn't, and they won't leave anything out. Our DJ made a timeline for us that we switched around a few times before settling on what we liked best... it made my wedding planning so much easier.

Then comes the conversation that, I believe, everyone should have with their DJ: The "No Cheese" conversation... Your DJ should not be the center of attention, they should not be the entertainment (aside from the music they play), they should not be chatty cathys- babbling on the mic all night about stupid unnecessary crap. This is not stand up comedy time. Your DJ is a guide- merely there to get you and your guests from one event to the next and to inform when necessary.

Think of them as the voice in the sky.... maybe that only makes sense to me. In any case, they are the stage director, the lighting engineer, the music cuer, and YOU are the leading lady and leading man. Your guests came to see you, not the sequined DJ.

Music!! Hand pick your primary songs for each of the key events, i.e. garter and bouquet tosses, cake cutting, first dance, father daughter, mother son, last dance, send off... etc... Don't let your DJ talk you into "what a lot of couples are choosing.." Pick songs that reflect you and the mood you want for your wedding and each of those events. For example, what we did at our wedding was:

First Dance: Lucky by Jason Mraz
Father/Daughter: Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman
Cake Cutting: Can't Help Falling in Love by Ingrid Michaelson
Bouquet Toss: Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus

Can I just say how tired I am of "Single Ladies" for the bouquet toss???? Ugh, let's get creative here people!

Also, keep in mind that you can have a "no play" list for your DJ... basically a list of songs that you forbid him to play. Some examples, Funky Chicken, Macarena, YMCA, We Are Family, Electric Slide, Mambo No. 5, etc.... You know the songs you hate- and honestly, if you chose a good DJ, he already knows not to play those unless the bride and groom ask for them.

Here is a good "at a glance" article on how to spot a bad dj check it out for more tips!

Just remember: Your wedding is about you. Not your DJ or his opinion on "how sweet they look" or his commentary or his jokes. YOU are what your guests came to see. He should keep it simple, play music you want, only speak when necessary, and fade into the background.

One last thing- your DJ should invite your guests to do whatever it is they're supposed to do rather than tell or demand (i.e. "I'd like to invite you to take your seats... I'd like to invite all the ladies onto the dance floor for the bouquet toss... We'd like to invite you to watch as the bride and groom cut the cake...") It creates a more pleasant atmosphere.

I hope this was helpful! There ARE great DJs out there- you just gotta take the time to find 'em!